By Lucy Vorbach, Acupuncturist
Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. While for most it is a loving and joyous day, for those, like me, who have lost their mum it may not be the case.
A year ago today, I was writing my mother’s eulogy. On the 29th of April 2017, my mum passed away suddenly from the flu. Two days before she had told me she was feeling better. She was admitted to hospital in the early hours of Friday morning. She was diagnosed with double pneumonia and passed away by lunchtime Saturday. It was by far the worst day of my life. So, when my friend asked me yesterday “What does Mother’s Day mean to me this year”, I couldn’t answer her. My feeling was numbness.
Nothing can prepare you for what it is like to lose your mum. Three of my closest friends have lost their own mothers before me. I felt deeply sad for them, offered them words of comfort, I tried to support them in anyway I could think of, even offering out my own mother to help my friends “get through” the grief. I had no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother.
I was in the supermarket the other day and found myself standing in the isle where the entire Mothers’ Day cards and gifts were displayed. For half an hour, I stood there reading the prose of the Mother’s Day cards. With tears rolling down my face I pondered which one I would buy my mum, then said to myself “don’t be silly” and walked away. This morning I have realized that despite my mother not being here, I never want to stop honoring her. How can I do this on Mother’s Day? I cannot plan for how I am going to feel but I do know the things that have helped me in the past year to feel better. For those who have also lost their mother, maybe my plan will help you too.
My 10 Step plan:
Now that I have my 10 step plan in place, I am confident that this Mother’s Day will be a little easier for me to manage. On that note, I am off to the supermarket to buy my mum a Mothers Day card.
Sending all my love to the mums and mum’s-to-be this Mother’s Day.