As the Perinatal and Fertility Counsellor at Fertile Ground Health Group, there are many times that I notice my own goose bumps as I shiver at what is happening in the counselling room. The shivers are for the remarkable connections that people make when reflecting on their experiences, the courage for showing up to the work and the enormous capacity to endure the unthinkable, the unimaginable & often the unspeakable. Yet there they are in front of me with our shared human limitations, flaws and imperfections. How very, very brave!

I cannot ask of others what I am not prepared to do myself and so I know this particular type of courage.  It certainly is not easy but it is most definitely rewarding if only you can steel yourself to show up and face it. I am there to ensure it will not beat you and to help you to bare it.  I am not the expert in the room, you are. It is your life, decisions and life choices on the table that only you can reconcile.  Counselling is not someone telling you what to do but another perspective that may provide such insights or understandings so that you can form a new approach to something that has become a problem and the current strategies are no longer working.

The bit that creates the magic is the moment of the pieces falling into place. It might be the very thing you have purposely avoided from happening, the thing you have organized your life around to ensure it does not touch you or the thing you learnt to disown about yourself a long time ago or a story you tell about yourself or that your family believe about you that no longer serves you.

It is a pause, a sound, a breath, a heartbeat that notices something has landed on the “you” that you think of as you to be felt and observed to be the truth.

I feel it too as it unfolds between us that whatever just happened is because you and I came together to find the thing that is lost or forgotten or needed. We forge through the resistance, we find the release and sit with the uncertainty. We each feel our confidence in crisis that asks can we do this?  It truly is like giving birth this stretching of ourselves beyond the physical. I am often left feeling that the next encounter with a similar process, which may indeed be birthing a baby that you will meet it with the wisdom gained in feeling afraid but saying yes I can do this. Again.


Suzanne Hurley, FGHG Perinatal Counsellor is available for consultations at Fertile Ground Health Group or you can make an appointment for a phone or video session for your convenience. Learn more about Suzanne here.